The Grief Journey

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. -Psalm 147:3 (NIV)- Grief is the reaction to loss of any kind. Most associate grief with the death of a person, but grief can result from numerous types of losses, including life-changing illness or disability, terminal illness, loss of income, loss resulting from natural disasters (e.g., earthquakes, hurricanes, flood, mass shootings, terrorist attacks), loss of a pet, loss of independence due to declining health, separation, divorce, and relocation. The stages of grief are universal, but everyone experiences them differently. Some are outwardly emotional while others grieve internally. Many do not experience the stages in the order listed above and find that grief arrives in waves that ebb and flow. One needn’t experience the stages precisely or sequentially.. The stages of grief are not a rulebook, but a roadmap to the grieving process that provides context for each leg of the journey.

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STAGES OF GRIEF

1. Shock and Denial – A sense of numbness when learning of the loss. Disbelief and denial can last for weeks.

2. Pain and Guilt -The pain of the loss is felt physically and/or emotionally. Guilt may set in because one was not there to prevent the death or due to unresolved disagreements or unforgiveness.

3. Anger and Bargaining – Anger can mask grief and may result in lashing out and blaming oneself, God, or others for the death. Bargaining with God to bring the loved one back: e.g., “Take me instead.”

4. Depression, Reflection, and Loneliness - Realization of what has happened. Memories begin to surface along with loneliness, emptiness, or despair. This stage should not be rushed.

5. The Upward Turn – Depression lessens as calmness and adjustment to the loss set in. A sense of organization, direction, and getting back on track becomes a focus.

6. Reconstruction and Working Through - Dealing with the grief in practical terms: e.g., addressing every day concerns and finding ways to move on with life.

7. Acceptance and Hope – The full reality that the loved one is gone has set in. The pain is still there, but the possibility of experiencing the joy of life and moving on with hope for the future become realities.